Sometimes, I look at how many people were only my friend because they needed something from me, and I feel a sudden overwhelming urge to kill myself. People that I used to love, who I valued…I feel embarrassed. I feel like a fool for trying to be close to them, and I want to kill myself because of the shame of it. People pass in and out of my life all the time, and, try as I might, I can never seem to hold onto any of them. Hell, I couldn’t even hold on to my parents. And now that I am at a place and an age where I can see that a little clearer, I feel ashamed for putting in that much effort and failing so miserably in keeping the company of people who were very good, kind, and wonderful.